Unemployment

So, I know I don’t really talk about my personal life on here that much, But I think maybe I want to. I guess I can start with the news that I have quit my job! I handed my resignation letter in last week, and my last day is tomorrow. After that I will be deliciously unemployed again and get to start the ever-enjoyable job application process once more.

This is a big, scary decision that I am really glad I made. Normally I overthink things a lot and delay the inevitable when it comes to things like quitting, and I did that to a degree this time, but I made the decision to quit and actually resigned fairly promptly compared to how I usually go. I think it took me about four days to get my stuff together and write the letter and hand it in (after talking it through with Ben first, of course). Since that day I’ve been so much more relaxed than I have been since starting this job. It’s amazing how much happier I am, even though I’ve still been having to deal with the same issues as I did before. My freedom is looming and things don’t seem to matter as much any more.

I didn’t talk about it on here because it feels a little too public, but if we have hung out in person (or on some places on the internet) in the last three months then I am pretty sure I have ranted about the people I work with and how angry they made me. I am almost positive that everyone I talked to about this told me to get out of that place and it still took me three months of working there to really realise that I didn’t want to be there enough to stop making excuses and actually leave. I’m not really sure what is going to happen from now on. Obviously I need a new job, but I don’t really know what sort of direction I’ll be heading in. Maybe I’ll get another office job, maybe I’ll go back to retail? I do like the regularity of office work, and am enjoying having my weekends free, so that looks like the most likely scenario, but if I find a retail job that sounds awesome I can just go for it. There are so many options out there for me that it’s a little daunting, but I am also really excited to see what happens.

Money’s going to be tighter with me not working, but I am still strangely positive about all this. I can do this, I can find a job that doesn’t make me feel like a terrible person. I am also going to try and be more creative these days. I’ve been so stressed lately that I haven’t wanted to do anything at all, no drawing, no writing (hence why these entries haven’t been super wordy), I didn’t even feel like taking shitty instagram photos, I just went through the motions. Since officially resigning I have all these things I want to do. It’s liberating and a bit overwhelming; I have all these ideas, I don’t know where to start.

Hopefully on Wednesdays I will write posts like this, about what I’m doing and how things are going; it might just be a drawing I’ve done, or an update on crafts, or even just a blog about the week. I also want to actually work on making this site look more like how I want it to. Baby steps. So here’s to the future, in all its terrifying glory. Here’s hoping it doesn’t fuck me over.