The general consensus on 2017 was that it sucked. We’re glad to see it go, don’t let the door hit you on the way out. It’s understandable; American politics has been a trash fire since Trump got elected, the world is heating up and no one wants to do anything about it, Australia wasted billions of dollars on a non-binding postal survey about marriage equality that made a part of our population a constant target of hate and bigotry. House prices are still rising, the rich are getting richer and Millenials are still somehow being blamed for everything. If you’re not rich, white, and powerful then this year has been pretty tough.
My 2017 wasn’t that bad, on the whole. Sure it wasn’t all sunshine and roses, but some people out there had it much worse. Mostly it just seemed to simultaneously feel like it would never end and sped by too quickly for me to keep up. My main achievement of the year was that I got a promotion at my job. I’m still not really sure how to do my new role affectively but I have been trucking along and working hard in the hopes that if I am not good at least people will see that I’m trying. It seems to be working, because people keep getting me to do more work. Because of this promotion I’m now earning the most I have ever earned. I have to pay my HECS debt off! I never thought I would make more than minimum wage, so I’m pretty pleased with that.
2017 was the year I turned 30. It still feels wrong, like there was a mistake and I’m not that old. I don’t feel 30; 30 year olds always felt like they have their life together and know what to do. I feel like a kid playing dress ups a lot of the time. It also was the year I celebrated my 10 year anniversary with Ben. We’ve both been through tough patches this year, and it would have been infinitely harder for me without his patience and support.
But for all the positives, there are always negatives to the year. 2017 was the year I realised my anxiety had gotten to the point that I needed help again. I went back on medication and am seeing a new psychologist; it’s frustrating to feel like things are out of your control again, but at least I recognised that I couldn’t handle things myself and asked for help rather than letting it overwhelm me. I’m still struggling, my journey with anxiety is far from over, but I’m learning ways to handle it a bit better. Now I just need to stop having so many work dreams and I’ll be happy.
I think my main regret for 2017 is that I did basically no creative work other than crocheting scarves and blankets. No writing, no photos (apart from Instagram), no drawing. Work and anxiety has made me so exhausted that all I did when I got home of an evening was sit at my computer and watch videos. I have definitely stagnated on the creative front, so I feel like that is part of why it feel like I’ve wasted time all year.
I think that is gong to be my main resolution for 2018 – be creative. Use your brain for something other than just work. I think 2018 is going to be the year I take care of myself better; I need to get my health in check, try to not be so hard on myself when I fail at things, start doing things I enjoy again and hang out with my friends more. I should probably also eat better and exercise, but we all say that at the start of the year. I realised just recently that 2017 seemed to only focus on work, so now I need to focus on myself more. If I keep going the way I am I’ll burn out pretty quickly so I need to take some steps back, and hopefully writing again will be a good start.
So here’s to 2018, may it be less of a train wreck than the last year!