While I love my cats, there are times when I wish we could have more pets – like when I saw a Scotty Dog at the vet clinic and fell in love – but Ben and I have decided that our cats are enough work as it is without added another animal to the mix. Plus being renters it would be even harder to get approved with 3 animals than it already is with 2 animals. So for the moment I get to squeal with excitement when I see puppies in the street and try and pat them without the owner noticing.
To try and make me feel better I decided to come up with a shortlist of the top 5 kinds of dogs I would like to own. If we were in a perfect world where trendy dogs weren’t ridiculously expensive, or dog breeding didn’t result in awful health issues for the animal, or puppy farms didn’t exist, I would definitely go for at least one of these 5 breeds. Please note that these are in no particular order, because I doubt I could rank them and would have all of them if I could. Imagine all of them wearing a bandanna as well, because bandannas make all dogs measurably more awesome.
This is a no-brainer. I mean, look at how cool that dachshund looks right there; who wouldn’t want one of those? I want to have one and give it a little turtleneck sweater and just cuddle it while it tries to wriggle away. Can you imagine how hilarious it would be if it and Ned chased each other through the house? Or if I got them both walking on harnesses and taking them down the street? So Cute! Plus look at this anatomy diagram. Isn’t this a perfect description of a Dachshund?
2. French Bulldog
The day I saw the Scotty Dog at the vet I also ended up walking behind a couple with a French Bulldog puppy. I almost tried to steal it, because it was so excited to be out and sniffing things and lolloping around that I felt like my life would be incomplete without it. I mean, look at the dog in that photo there, doesn’t he look so happy to be running around? I feel like a little dog would suit me better, so we can be stumpy little chubby buddies together.
3. Giant Schnauzer
One of my memories from when I was a kid was that my Aunt and Uncle had Giant Schnauzers as pets. I was quite a tiny child, so these massive dogs were terrifying. Now that I am not a tiny child I have realised that I would really like one of these please. The black ones make me think of giant Scotty Dogs (I mean, look at the ones in that photo with the long fringes) so I would definitely go for one of those.
I tend to alternate between wanting a tiny little dogs and a big intimidating one. Since I was young I always loved Rottweilers, German Shepherds and Dobermen, so I feel like I needed to have at least one of those on my list. Because a Doberman has the connotation of security dogs and that they’re ‘dangerous’, I would love to have one, train it properly, and just watch as people wonder how I can handle such a large dog. We would have matching resting bitch faces. I would never get approached by Charity Spruikers! I can only see positives here!
5. Bull Terrier
I had to find out what this breed was by googling “Shark Dog” – Bull Terrier was one of the related image searches. I used to not like these dogs, because of the sharky resemblance, but they have grown on me over the years. They’re another breed of dog that look scarier than they actually are (if you treat them well and train them properly, of course) so I feel like they would add to my intimidation technique when it comes to pushy people on the street. Plus they are smaller than a Doberman or a Giant Schnauzer, so that means less food, and less trendy than a Dachshund or a French Bulldog, so probably cheaper as well.
I feel like the Bull terrier is the winner here, so now all I have to do is try and convince Ben that we need one. Time to collect cute Bull Terrier photos…